I am not changing my mind.  I feel called to what I am doing; I have faith in that calling, and I am deeply honored to have been called.  The Christian path is but a vehicle to the Spirit.  It is the vehicle that I have been designated.

I quit Christianity once…I felt pretty strongly about my quit for roughly 30 years of my life.  Now, I find myself to be a Christian once again.  It seems to defy explanation, but it is really quite simple.  And as to be expected, I am starting to see some of the same old problems all over again.  The things that I hated so much before are still there…the hypocrisy, the use of the guise of Christianity for self-promotion, the self-righteous indignation at perceived slights, the hatred, the fear, the loathing…

Although the behaviors are still there however, my perception has changed…I see the same old crazy behavior, but I also see the humanity and the fear behind it.  Can I reach a state of genuine compassion for that?  It is a damn good question that bears looking in to…

I don’t know man, I think society is more nuts than ever before.  How can so many people get it so wrong?  How can so many people claim to follow Jesus and be so off course?  The message was simple…Love thy neighbor as thyself…and Jesus offered thousands of different examples of what that meant.  Of all the things we could have been asked to do, we seem to find the most simple to be the most challenging.  Loving thy neighbor is not very self-serving, and we are ALL, if nothing else, VERY self-serving…

I could not even say how many different varieties of Christianity there are in existence right now.  We can’t seem to come up with any agreements as to just what exactly did Jesus mean by “love thy neighbor as thyself”.  Who does “my neighbor” encompass, and to what degree are we talking?  Will I be inconvenienced?  Does this include Mexicans that sneak across the border?  What about “those” Muslims?

I have to agree that the UCC is different.  We embrace everything…oddly enough that attitude used to turn me off about the UCC.  I thought they were very tepid about everything.  Now I see it as at least the ideal that Jesus was trying to get across.  I see that at least everyone recognizes that “my neighbor” includes everyone…no one is excluded.  Having said all that, I also see a lot of the same negative behavior from UCC members as I see from everyone else.  After reading numerous online discussions, I am just as creeped out by some UCC members as I am of a lot of other people.  Granted, the internet does set people up for creepy discussions…

I don’t know, it’s crazy…there are the inciters, and then there are the engagers.  And then, there is the dance.  I have stayed into the dance before.  It is not hard; just respond with any kind of an opinion and someone will be happy to whisk you out on to the floor.  I once asked a simple question as to why could we not all just live together in peace…one of the nicer comments insinuated that I sang Kumbyah and smoked pot all the time…lol…I wish!  Most commentary on anything anymore is disrespectful and loaded with sarcasm.  It all seems to be coming down to left and right.  Weird huh?

I am not sure if anyone really understands much about left and right.  I know I sure don’t.  What I do know is that they are evolving concepts, and they mean something different to everyone.  There seem to be some agreed upon stereotypes, but from there it is pretty much free form.  So each side draws on the stereotypes of the other side, seasons them liberally with their own free form assumptions, and viola’…applies it to everyone on the opposing team.  Now you have a focus for your hatred because it is far easier than the effort it would take to get to know each and exchange ideas like loving and intellectual human beings…That kind of effort takes away from our own self-serving interests…Whoa, now I am getting sarcastic, and hence, just like everyone else.

Honestly, I don’t know where I fit into all of this.  I don’t want to be just another helpless dancer trying to stay on the floor.  I don’t want to do all of this only to remain ineffective and afraid of upsetting my own personal apple cart.  It feels like a minefield because I don’t want to be lured off my path by charlatans.  It feels like a minefield of lunatics…yet those lunatics are my people…Yikes!


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