Forty Days of Lent – Thursday After Ash Wednesday

Man Skiing

“If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23

Today I remember my identity as one who is called by God.  Self-doubt is the mother of all temptations.  When you give in to the seduction of self-doubt, it begins to slowly erode everything…your character, your relationships, and most importantly your relationship with God.  Finally, it becomes entirely too easy to just give up all together and give in to every temptation under the sun.

I remember well the early days of my ministry and the daily doubt that plagued me as I wondered if perhaps God had made some sort of mistake in calling me.  Over and over the litany of questions rang through my mind: am I really cut out to do this?  What if I fail?  What if people think I am not good enough?  What if, what if, over and over again.  I had become infatuated by the seduction of self-doubt and I had created a monster under my bed that was making it harder and harder for me to sleep at night.  But then one day someone said something to me that put things in a whole new perspective.  She said “God does not call the prepared; God prepares the called.”  And that was it.  God had called me – I knew that; God had identified me to serve – I knew that, but it was me, and my infatuation with self-doubt that was trying so hard to shake that identity.  I am a child of God and I have been called to serve.  That certainly trumps anything self-doubt has to offer.


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